Hey guys,

I posted a couple months ago about how I was scared that my calorie deficits were going to turn into an eating disorder, and I'm here to say that they kind of did. I'm struggling to get over 700 calories a day. But what's worse is that I've started purging too because I can't stand the feeling of food in my stomach anymore, especially when I feel guilty over a social mishap (like today) or academic failure. I can't really speak to my parents about it, they're really religious and they've just gone through this entire purging ordeal with my brother who is now recovering thankfully. If I tell them it'll make them angry and I'm afraid I'll trigger my brother. I'm alone in college right now, in a different city to my parents and I think I just really need someone to tell me to not purge tonight.

I'm really sorry about the subject matter and I know that this is coming off pretty pathetically but I just really, really need someone to tell me that it's going to be okay and that I don't have to do this to my body to feel okay with myself.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope everyone's doing well :)